Nine Year Olds Rock!!

Okay, if you don't have a 9 year old, you need to go out and get one. Of course, if you're a registered sex offender, this probably isn't a good idea. However, if you are a normal person, borrow one from a friend, because if you don't have your own, man are you missing out. Nin year olds are the funniest people on the planet!

Now, don't get jealous, but my 9 year old is funnier than most.

Okay, well, first of all, 9 year olds all have this interesting thing going on in their mouths. They're losing baby teeth and getting adult teeth. Is this not funny ^%$& ?? Big teeth, pushing little teeth out of the way, little teeth being stubborn, this all makes for one huge mangled mess! Now, usually, I'm anti-braces, unless your mouth looks like a trainwreck, I had a cousin with a mouth like this, but I am really struggling with this "let's wait and see thing".

I'm thinking how your 9 year old appears physically is probably a foreshadowing of those awkward teenage years to come. The thought process behind this is a 9 year old is all arms and legs. Mine is constantly eating, and he is gaining altitude at an alarming rate. Where is he putting all that food? And don't EVEN get me started on foot size! I can wear my son's shoes with little discomfort, right now he thinks this is cool, in a few years, he may see this as power! Now, sort of off topic, this foot thing does have it's advantages as I can see my footwear possibilities doubling...Evil laughter...

My husband insisted on getting the boys haircuts before he left. They got crew cuts. My 9 year olds hair does not really work well with crew cuts, they are an excerise of futility. The top sticks up, the sides stickout, and the back sticks out. No amount of gel, mousse, or hairspray helps.

My 9 year old wears glasses. My husband wanted to buy him yucky plastic frames, because we were getting them fixed at WallyWorld twice a month and/or 2 pair a year. I stood my ground and he got metal frames. Let's face it this kid has enough to deal with, does he really need the stigma from plastic frames? If it's a matter of $$$, I forfeit my top of the line name brand sanitary products, I will buy store brand! His glasses never seem to fit right on his face either, no matter how much I twist or bend. They are always sitting on the edge of his nose, too.

Now, something that my 9 year has to deal with, that yours probably does not, is that he is visually impaired. He has a neurological thing going on that effects his eye sight. He can see just enough to be dangerous. He uses a cane, when I twist his arm, but is looking forward to getting a service dog at 16. This gets even more interesting, because he has even proposed that his brother drive him and his dog around in mom's hot rod to hang out. Ok, whatever...

My 9 year old wants to go to Jedi Camp. My 9 year old wants to be an inventor. My 9 year old is so infatuated with Star Wars, it makes my husband puff up like a peacock, and makes me want to hurl.

We were in the car yesterday, listening to the radio, we heard about a mother leaving her 4 year old on the side of the freeway. My nine year old with his scary teeth looks at me and says,"If you ever did that, I would be sooo MAD." The tone of his voice strikes me to the core, as if he knew how many times I was seriously tempted.

My 9 year old has taken it upon himself to be my personal assistant. "Mommy, yesterday you said you would buy milk." "Mommy, you said you'd buy milk today." "Mommy, you lied, you did not buy milk today." "Mommy, why didn't you buy milk today?" "Mommy, yesterday you were going to buy milk." He is easily fixated on superficial stuff, because it helps him to have structure, and I really screw him up when I forget or neglect to do stuff.

Finally, 9 year olds are not quite 'Tweens, but getting there, so they are still in that special place I like to call ignorcence (Ignorant Innocence). They still watch cartoons, but are interested in the news. They are still able to say what they feel with out sounding like a complete wise ass. They can still repeat verbatim what you specifically asked them not to repeat, as they get older they tend to add their own spin. They feel comfortable with or without their parents. They still like their parents and other adults.

Well, I need to mention sadly 9 years olds are only so for a year, so you have to enjoy them while you can. Luckily for me, I'll have another one in two years. And one more thing, I love my nine year to bits and peices, so get your own.

Now, don't comment on this post and tell me what a bad mother I am poking fun at my son's disabilities, this is how I get through my life, with humor. And, just so you know, R has taught me more about myself in 9 years than I could have learned in an entire lifetime. We have spent alot of time in hospitals, doctor's offices, and enroute to these places, so we get each other and I would rather have a chat with him than alot of adults.