James, you are just awesome at sharing your feelings, you are a terrific writer. This comment really does not belong here ( I originally left a comment for him), but keep the faith when it comes to your wife, really. I don't know your situation, but it couldn't be worse than mine.

I remarried my x-husband P in June, shortly before he was deployed to Bahrain.We had been married for almost 10 years when a "shitmate" (he's coast guard) decided to console him after my daughter's open heart surgery they were on their way back from Antartica. Somewhere during this I had a complete breakdown, and distanced myself from everyone and everything that I had once held dear. We were divorced, because although P did everything right, I could not bear to have this other person even in the shadow of our lives.

Anyway, not really emotionally up to all this spewing, so basically, P never waived during our divorce, I actually had my own place for a while, but for some reason I was always at home anyway. I moved back in, and things weren't perfect, they never were afterall, we're all only human. P just let me throw my temper tantrum. I don't know how he tolerated me, I was mean and selfish, etc...

I have since come to this conclusion, P was and is my best friend. We'll have a ton of work to do when he gets back, acclaimating back to family life and such, but I am very hopeful and I wish I could have those years back where I was nothing but angry. What a waste.