Me and the Good Twin

This is a sample of a run of the mill chat session between me and my friend, Amy. We chat like this almost EVERYDAY. We are amazed with how our chats are all over the place, and the healthy helping of sarcasm is pleasing, too. I am in the Northwest and she is in the Southeast. We met in California, but both are from the Northeast. Our kids were all born within months of each other. We have know each other over ten years. She is the Good Twin, but she'll never admit it.

little_lost_sailor: OMG, it is 83 degrees inside the house!?!?
Amy : turn on the ac
little_lost_sailor: have you read my blog yet?
little_lost_sailor: funny stuff today
little_lost_sailor: 83 freakin' degrees, yikes! I passed out on the couch from 3-5, it was wonderful
Amy : do you have AC?
little_lost_sailor: no, just a window fan and a box fan
Amy : ewwwwww that sucks we would die here with out AC 105 degrees today
Amy : i guess it doesn't get thet hot in WA, or is it usually cool?
little_lost_sailor: Ughh, Fox news used a laster thermometer somewhere to see how much heat was reflected of of stuff, asphalt registered 133, and skin reflected 107
Amy : yikes
Amy : well the rest of my day went right down the shi***er i should just quite while i'm ahead. I ruined my window and i have to go get mineral spirits to remove it so i can start over and another can of paint
Amy : sorry the letters got to bigl
little_lost_sailor: oh, sorry to hear that
Amy : i was just wanting to finish it and it was getting dark and that was my mistake for not waiting, but it was supposed to rain so i said what the hell and now i'm paying for it
Amy : so what were you saying about something funny happening today
little_lost_sailor: my whole day was weird, it ran pretty smoothly for a change!!
Amy : wow that is a bonus
Amy : heres something funny that happened while i was at Home Deot
little_lost_sailor: k
Amy : I got carded for spray paint
little_lost_sailor: and...that's to prevent huffing
Amy : then she asked for ID i show her my Mil ID so id do then she wants to see my drivers license
little_lost_sailor: hee hee they do that to me too
Amy : i was thinking vandelism hadn't thought of that, might have been suspicious cause i bought garbage bags too.......hmmm
Amy : now i'm really laughing at this
Amy : good thing i was awake when i went she might have thought i sniffed before i went in LOL Amy : i'm going to go take a shower the bug spray is getting to me
little_lost_sailor: buy tupperware
little_lost_sailor: subliminal message
Amy : lol
Amy : Be back in a few ...no peeeking
little_lost_sailor: Amy : ahhhhhhhhh nothig like a shower
Amy : i know what i keep forgetting to mention to you... we still have your kitchen table and Bob refinished it like last year i think
little_lost_sailor: cool, will it be an heirloom
Amy : perhaps it has become my favorite table, he wanted to get a bigger one but i said no
little_lost_sailor: it was a cute table
Amy : i even bought chairs that were matching just not the exact same ones you had
little_lost_sailor: i'm gonna cut the tops off of them and turn them into coffee tables
Amy : you lost me turn what into coffee tables
little_lost_sailor: the chairs
Amy : no way how i thought those fell apart?l
little_lost_sailor: they mostly did, but it was the rungs falling out of the back
Amy : so how will you make them a table?
little_lost_sailor: i don't know yet, read about it in woman's day
Amy : no way sounds neat
little_lost_sailor: think I might wait up for P, I haven't heard from him in a while
Amy : i was wondering how he was doing
little_lost_sailor: he told me I could text message him, but he never told me how
Amy : ahh
little_lost_sailor: I need a sandwich
little_lost_sailor: k, stuffing face
Amy : what kind
little_lost_sailor: ham n cheese
Amy : mmmmmmmmm
Amy : i think i'm going to have generic lucky charms
little_lost_sailor: with express salad greens in the middle
Amy : ohh
little_lost_sailor: mayo n mustard
Amy : mmmmmm
little_lost_sailor: it's finally getting cool, i think i will clean the kitchen
Amy : woohoo you go
little_lost_sailor: i am sick of hearing my sneakers peel off the sticky floor
Amy : ewwwww, no dog hair and crumbs are just as bad
Amy : do you have a pool?
little_lost_sailor: nope
little_lost_sailor: hey, i found a black light, when I was moving stuff around today
Amy : no way? cool
little_lost_sailor: yeah, let me see if it works, I changed the batteries earlier, but it was still too light outside Brb
Amy : cool
little_lost_sailor: ok, so what exactly is supposed to happen, because nopthing did
Amy : where you suspect an accident shine the light over it the area should be a darker purple (turn the lights out)
little_lost_sailor: uhh, nope, no difference
Amy : hmm let me do some research please hold...
Amy : Sounds easy enough right. Just look for the stain. The problem is, pet odors don't always leave a visible stain. One way to find the spots, is to get down on your hands and knees and actually smell your carpet for the offending odor. If you'd rather not do that, there is a better way. Urine contains salts which will become visible under black lights. So go get a cheap black light, they are usually around 10 dollars. Turn off all the lights in a room and close the curtains, the darker the better. Turn on the black light and point it at the carpet. The stains will shine in the black light when you pass over them.
little_lost_sailor: well, i'll try again later, i'm hawking tupperware on the other line
Amy : hmmmm one article said you may have to pull the carpet back because the stain may not be in the carpet after it was attempted to be cleaned it may now be in the carpet pad and floor under neath
little_lost_sailor: joy, how do I do that?
little_lost_sailor: nevermind, do not answer that or I will be tempted to do it
Amy : its easy but i won't give any other instructions
Amy : i was about to
little_lost_sailor: well, pulling it up may be easy, but what do you do once it's up and how do you get it back down
Amy : is it tacked down?
little_lost_sailor: probably
little_lost_sailor: FX has a new show coming on, should I watch it-->Over There about the war
Amy : well here what i did i had to hide the cable/sattelite cord under the carpet cause the thing went around the room, so i pulled up the carpet did what i needed to do and them putting it back was just a matter of wiggleling it onto the tacks so it "grabs"and tapping it under w/a flathead screwdriver(at the base board)good as new
little_lost_sailor: did I ever tell you about the reoccuring dream I have had about pulling up my yucky carpet?
Amy : them should be then...sorry
Amy : ummm no... do tell
little_lost_sailor: well...it was a reoccurring dream about pulling up all the yucky carpet in my house
Amy : is that all?? umm how bad could it be
little_lost_sailor: I would wake up VERY tired
Amy : have you considered a carpet cleaning service?
Amy : when they have those specials its not too bad
little_lost_sailor: naw, it's just shot
Amy : oh like a trip to Home Depot time to buy new carpet time ohhhhhh yaaa thats it
little_lost_sailor: yeap
Amy : i'm reading your blog
Amy : i like the jedi camp
little_lost_sailor: i don't know if that's a you'd have to be there moment, but it was hysterical
little_lost_sailor: The Dukes of Hazzard looks like it will be a total let down!
Amy : too funny
Amy : yup i heard it was from an interview the guy said it was nothing like the tv show and NOT for kids
little_lost_sailor: it seems dumbed down (if that is possible) and just plain trashy
Amy : thats it in a nut shell
Amy : wow your day is scaring me it sounds like my house
little_lost_sailor: really, I'll list you as a contributor, the good twin
Amy : the box of ceral a day cinched it and rolling out of bed at 11 sounds to familiar
little_lost_sailor: http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050728/ap_on_re_us/jamboree_deaths
little_lost_sailor: sounds like the BSA is cursed
Amy : i am lucky too that they pretty much make there own breakfast, get dressed and play legos till i am up
Amy : OMG i know how weird is that did you read how they died (the leaders)
little_lost_sailor: I'm gonna blog very soon about the scorge they call legos
Amy : lol
Amy : are legos like gold in your house?
little_lost_sailor: to the "Others"
little_lost_sailor: not to me, I wanna suck them all up with a shop vac
Amy : they drive me up the wall if i step on one more of those things
little_lost_sailor: Paul bought like a ton on ebay, and has been adding to the collection ever since
Amy : i know we have tons also
little_lost_sailor: we have three rubbermaid containers full, I do not know what size they are, but they are big
Amy : i have them sorted in those drawered carts plus they have extra totes
little_lost_sailor: oh, yeah, none of the organization crap here! they're just all tossed in bins or stored on the floor
little_lost_sailor: brb
Amy : k
little_lost_sailor: back
Amy : k