Stupid Susie Homemaker

Okay, why does life have to be so damn difficult??

From the "She-ain't-nothing-but-a-hound-dog" files:
X made chief, he is fourth on the list, so 3 people before him, and chiefs that are up for transfers get to pick orders before him, but he still willl most likely get whatever he wants. So, we can stay in the Emerald City area, or go back East. He is putting an awful amount of pressure on my, but really, up until this morning I really couldn't have cared less.


What changed my attitude is at work our office manager is leaving this week, and a mechanic friend of my (the one I emotionally puked on a few posts back) may also be leaving. So I'm thinking what difference does it all make, may as well just more back east and resume my Stepford Wife status. Just pretend that the past two years never happened and just slip right back into the role of "Susie Stupid, Homemaker".


And, if this all is nuts enough, Brian wants to do lunch Friday, and I gotta another pilot under my thumb (have for awhile, but today it was more that slightly apparent, almost embarrassing). I mean I could plan on pulling up the stakes, and just lead everyone on for a year, but who has that kind of energy.

Guilt

First off, whatcha think of my new look?? I actually tried to hijack a Xanga skin without buying premium, but it turned out to be way more complicated than I anticaped. I just don't have that kinda time, dig? And besides, if I invested the time I would have felt GUILT, and canned the whole project anyway. I HATE guilt. I mean loath it!


Guilt is what got me where I am right now...living with X whom I have three great kids with. He had a kid with someone else-and I feel guilty about it. No, I feel guilty about not being an adult for my kids and getting divorced. I should have just backed over him in our Explorer. OOoops! Did I just make y'all accesories?


Anyway, I have been getting looks and phone numbers at work for months, haven't used any of them, and beleive me, mostly not looking back. However (read yesterdays' post) I am in a quandary, for the first time in a long time I'm thinking 'What if?'. Whoowa, there, now we're talking guilt...Let's change the subject.

Beer-Thirty

Last night caught myself getting into a coversation at work after hours, we call this time BEER-THIRTY. It was definetily leaning towards S-E-X-ual. Read back a few posts, so I don't have tyo get into all the details here...Anyhow, removed myself when boss said, "Everyone needs to be serviced every once in a while." I walked away, thinking I'm all about self-serve, baby. I don't even want to think about where this would have gone had I said that outloud (I did think it really hard!), or if I hung around.


From the "I am not be a ten, but the boys say I clean up good, and if I gave them half a chance for some rowdy romance, you know they would" Files: This week a mechanic attached to an Army plane temporarily on our feild gave me his phone number. It was sooo weird, came right outta left field. Never saw it coming, and sure as heck didn't believe it, even as I was hearing it. But ya know, I have since become a believer in KArma, especially if it's BAD Karma. Because, a few months ago, I told one of the mechanics I work with that "I totally have a huge crush on you to rival Mt. Rainer." He was like, floored, so it is of no shock, that I get emotionally puked on, and have no idea how to react myself.


I don't know what did it for this guy...I am mostly a tomboy. At work I wear Carhart pants, or cargo pants, and either a tank top or t-shirt. I wear big, clompity Doc Martins steel-toed boots (whenever I can get away with it, even away from work). I wear a pony tail, or tails, or a Princess Leia wanna-be do. Sometimes eye make-up, lipstick and/or chipped bright red nailpolish. I was wearing a blue NY cap, but have since upgraded to a white with pink trim cap (I call it my dress cap). I guess I carry myself well, translated as I really could give a flying ^&*% what anyone thinks. I tear up and down the ramp (when I can get away with it) blasting country or metal or alternative (whatever I'm in the mood for) outta my 'stang. I really don't get it though..the weird factor is just too great to be believed.


Any thoughts on this would be appreciated...


PS Did I mention I prefer boxers under my work pants? I am a freak, I belong in the zoo...

Books

Okay, had to add another book to what I'm reading, because I am a bookish freak on top of all the other types of freakishness I have to offer. Been reading alot of memiors lately, figured they would be good researchy for my own, which I pitched to an agency last month.

Funny thing is, they were like 'Tell us more", and you think I have written a complete sentence since?? Noooooo.

Anyhow, books I've conquered lately are awesome reads.

One Year at KTIW

Hey, all, got some HUGE news...That crappy job I have at the airport, well, I'm sooo short, 1 year anniversary is in like 5 weeks, and I am sooo outta there!!
Even better news is a literary agency in the Emerald City is interested in a book I have been trying to crank out about the airport and all the insanity that place perpetuates.


Also, after-crap- a year longer than it should've taken I am graduating from the Pharmacy Technician program I started in 2001 or 2002 ( I really don't remember...). So, on August 20th, I get to wear a cap and gown, I got my high school diploma, but never graduated, so as cheesey as it will probably be, it is a first for me...So, rejoice with me!!!