Well, duh?

From the "I-could-be-retarded-with-just-a-little-more-effort" files:

My children didn't just show up on my doorstep on morning and I brought them in with the paper. We've known each other long enough to know what sets the other off. We know what is expected of the other. Yeah, what brand of denial am I on?

My friend took my youngest, Frac and Miss B, this morning so I could run errands. I got to return library books three days early, instead of the usual two weeks late. I also was able to swing by the post office and mail a box to P. This was a project in itself, because of all the forms and what not. The postal matron asked if I had anything hazardous or explosive in the box.

I told her the only thing that could blow up (Yeah, I said blow up in the post office) was a bottle of sunscreen. And, ha, I lied, it wasn't even sunscreen...it was lotion. An everyday type of lotion, I only wrote sunscreen so whom ever gave him the box at work wouldn't razz him. But, if I keep getting emails about what his mother sends him...Contents: Lube...whip...leather chaps...

Once I sent a male friend a box with all sorts of goodies (cookies, pretzels, Gatorade, etc...) and so no one would mess with the box, I wrote feminine hygeine products in the customs form. HAaaaaa!!! I'm just a housewife, okay, I have every right to keep myself entertained as the next guy.

Okay, so I pick up Frac and Miss B and we head to Best Buy, for the record P's favorite store. I have some coupons for free stuff, so I decided after a totally crappy day yesterday, some new FREE music is bound to cheer me up, and it just so happens Brad Paisley's new album is out. So, we're good in the truck, and good crossing the parking lot...and it all goes down hill from there. Okay, not completely, not yet, but only because Miss B is glued to my upper torso. She is a funny one, hold me, don't hold me...I never know with her. So she wants to be held, no biggy. Well, we're browsing, not sure what I'm in the mood for, I need to start working on my novel again, I work on it for about three months at a time, so music that will inspire work would be a good idea, although not necessary.

All of a sudden, she lets go of my neck and is laying horizontal, almost upside down. I nearly shit myself. Good thing she had started out squirming and I was holding her tightily, and I am pretty strong to begin with, or her brains would have been all over the floor. Okay, so nice save, as awkward as this is for me, she's happy, so I'm carrying her across my chest. Thia position reminds me of breastfeeding, and I am almost feeling humiliated.

So now, we're ok, until it's time to pay, I need to put her down, bad idea, but they're not going to let me leave without giving them some money. So now she's loose. I picked up two cds and tried to pay with my $25 coupons, but it came to $24.95, but I couldn't, so I paid with $15 coupons. Frac and Miss B were acting up, rolling around on the floor...Grrrrrrrrr

Well, I get out to the car, and it dawns on me I could have bought a freaking soda for $1 and got my music free, instead of paying $8. I am mostly pissed, because I my oppinion, the sales girl, "hello-honey-enough-eye-make-up?" should have said something. That is what customer service is about. For example:"5 more gallons of Jet-A and I can give you a 5% discount, sir"

The mostly awesome news is, right next to P's favorite store they are opening an OLD NAVY...Yahoo! This is cooler than cool, I can only hope that they stay in business long enough for P to get back, oh and I lose like 20 lbs, so I can actually look hot in low riding cords! They're opening tomorrow, as much as I would like to browse, I think I'm out of play money this payday, I'm still waiting for the septic pump check to clear.

But, then again, I'm thinking I really couldn't consider browsing with Frac and Miss B.